The Scriptures of the Perpetual Muffility

I'm in a bad mood right now because

A) I have a cold, in FRIGGIN' JULY
B) Smith is complaining that my health form is inadequate. Firstly, I didn't fill out the date for my medical exam [which can be easily dealt with]. Secondly, my hemoglobin test is not recent enough. WTF??? Like they care??? Technically this is inaccurate because I did a freaking test [and passed] when I donated blood several months ago. GRRR.
C) Smith, in another act of incompetence, decided not to send out the housing notices until like the 30th [instead of the 15th]. So boo!
d) I'm still emotionally petrified from the 4.2 earthquake two nights ago.
e) I'm worried that the olive oil burns I received are going to become permanent scars.


Whatever. Bye.

Tribute of the day: cold medicine.

High School is over. Wow. It went by so quickly.

Senior retreat was an awkward experience for me. People kept getting up and talking about how high school was "the best 4 years of my life" or how much they've "changed for the better by being more confident." I'm glad a lot of people feel that way. Sadly, I can't really say the same for myself. I don't really think I've changed that much (please correct me if I'm wrong) personality-wise. However, I don't really think I'm as happy or confident as I used to be.

Honestly, there is so much I do NOT like about CPS. I hate getting up so early. I hate assembly. I hate the rap-only dances (senior prom was the worst). I hate [a] certain person[s] (not many, but perhaps one or two), and how he/she/they harm my social life. I hate the fact that there are so many people who are so much smarter and more accomplished than I am who are going to higher ranked schools. I hate the fact that there's really no one thing that I'm truly passionate about. I hate the loss of innocence. I hate the structure of the curriculum. I hate the crappy packaged soup lunches I have to eat.

Then again, I had similar feelings when I was in Middle School. By the end of 8th grade, I HATED Bentley. I hated being stuck in the same place for 9 years. I hated being stuck inside in the rain because we were too "delicate" to go outside. I hated running laps in PE class. I hated the worthlessness of lots of the stuff we had to learn. Also, part of my desire to leave stemmed from the fact that I knew the school was going down hill. Discipline was out of control in our class. The administration led by the corrupt headmaster and Ms. Mockingbird sucked ass. English class was a joke; our "assignments" included writing letters to the U.N. about child labor and a paper about why we've never had a female president. The school got so overcrowded that there was talking about moving part of it to the High School in Lafayette.

However, as a [almost] high school grad, I'm doing the unthinkable: I miss Bentley. I miss the Middle School dances where they played music that was NOT rap, and everyone (including the faculty in the cases of some of the Bat Mitzvah dances) would hit the floor and have a great time. I miss the youthful innocence, where simply taking an Alka-Seltzer was considered a hazard. I miss the sense of community I felt with my class and the feeling of somehow "knowing" everyone. I miss many of my teachers, like Schug and L. I miss being able to play with younger students after school on Fridays. I miss the elective art classes I concluded my day with. I don't mean to sound like an ass, but I miss feeling like I was genuinely smarter than most of my peers. Oh, and don't even get me started on lower school --- there are so so so many things I miss about that.

Maybe the same thing will be true of CPS. I may hate it now and want to leave with a fiery vengeance. However, soon I'll miss the security of being told what classes I have to take. I'll miss waiting for my dad to pick me up after school. I'll miss Max's humorous announcements. I'll miss the never freezing weather. I'll miss CPSnet. I'll miss college research. Most of all, I'll miss my friends. I don't want to name all of you guys, as you probably know who you are. However, my friends are what made my life in high school so much better.

College is going to be so much different I can't believe it. I'm going to be living in a dorm with about 50 or so females my age, probably with a roommate. That's a huge leap from living in a fairly isolated house with my parents and sometimes my (way) older brother. Ok, just living with other young FEMALES is strange, as I do not have a sister. I also realized another thing --- I'm hardly ever going to ride in a car. I may take a bus every week or so, like to see Michelle at Amherst or other friends elsewhere. Other than that, it's just walking.

Alright, I think that's enough emotional release for now.

Tribute of the Day: ALL MY FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SO AWSOME!!

At first I wrote a long entry detailing my experiences today, but then I decided not to post it. Instead, I’ll put it much simpler and more poetic:
I learned a lot today.
I learned what it’s like to try to do math problems with a punctured arm, only to find the urge to burry your face in that same punctured arm on your desk.
I learned about how embarrassing it is to tell the teacher that you feel unwell in the middle of someone’s project.
I learned what it’s like to actually black out for a period of time unknown to you.
I learned what it’s like to actually have a difficult time trying to scramble yourself onto the ground with a half-conscious mind.
I learned what it’s like to find yourself lying on the floor of a class room, staring up at a dozen worried faces.
I learned what it’s like to be responsible for canceling half a math class when someone else was supposed to do his presentation.
I learned what it feels like when your friend tells you that you almost looked green a few minutes ago.
I learned what it’s like to have a half dozen people, including 3 school faculty members, try to force you to consume water and juice.
I learned that nurses deliberately try to converse with you just so that you don’t fall asleep.
I learned how fast rumors spread at this school.
I learned about the consequences of a 5 foot 8, 112 pound girl donating blood.

Tribute of the day: All the people who helped me with my medical crisis.

PS: When the Red Cross says that it only takes one period to donate, that's a LIE.

Random comment: Judging is fine. I don't understand what's wrong with judging people. Everyone does it. I hate this phrase "OMG you're being too judgemental!" Calling someone judgemental is judgemental in its own right. It's like accusing someone else of being a McCartheist --- puuuullleeese!

So what was the point to that random comment??? PEOPLE MAKE ME SO ANGRY, EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM!!!!

On another note, I want to conduct and experiment about my weight. I want to know why I'm underweight (5'8" and 112 pounds), despite eating lots of sugary goodness [donuts for breakfast!!!] and a sedentary lifestyle [now that I think of it, the last time I ran the mile I got the worst time in the class]. However, I don't know what to do. Eat a bigger breakfast? Lift weights? Whatever the case, I probably won't have the willpower to do it anyway. What worries me is the fact that I used to be 10 pounds heavier and a few inches shorter. I have no idea what changed that. I don't want to be sick with some obscure digestive problem or anything. Then again, i don't really care. Any ideas?

Haha and then there's my sleeping problems. I had a conversation with my doctor about it last year. She said that regular exercize makes sleeping easier...like it prevents nightmares or something. She's like "how about you jog for 20 minutes a day?" And I'm like "I can barely run for 10 minutes without wanting to puke!" So instead I did like a walk around my house every day (which involved uphill). Guess what? It didn't work!!!! It didn't do anything but make me sweaty and tired (tired in a bad way...it didn't make getting up in the morning any easier cuz my sleep was still bad), so I quit. I still don't know what wrong with me.

BTW I'm going to Smith. I should have just done early descision. Grrrrrr.

Ver is probably going to Uc Berkeley, which is annoying, because then we can't be close. Anyway, perhaps it will provide me with an incentive to make new friends. Plus, she seemed really pumped about berkeley, and she should go were she'll be happy.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET UP TOMORROW MORNING!!!! I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER OR BRUSH MY TEETH OR DO MY ENGLISH READING.

TRIBUTE OF THE DAY: "The Wind that Shakes the Barley" is a really good movie. I highly recommend it.

[end of a very random and incoherant entry]

Liberals, forget the NRA; fight AIPAC:

"For decades AIPAC has operated in the shadows of American foreign policy decision-making, exerting its influence on elected officials away from the public scrutiny of the very constituents who elected those officials to begin with.  It is impossible to hold someone accountable for actions that are kept secret, and as such AIPAC’s ability to secretly influence American foreign and national security policies represents a flagrant insult and threat to the very essence of American democracy.  I am not advocating the dissolution of AIPAC.  However, I am demanding that AIPAC be treated as any other representative of a foreign nation is treated. It should have to register as an agent of a foreign power so that the totality of its interactions with American officials can become a part of the public record.  We require this of all other nations, including our good friends the British. " --- Scott Ritter


"'AIPAC!' was the forceful one-word answer of Congressman Michael Capuano when we asked him, 'Why was the Iran clause forbidding war on Iran without Congressional approval taken out of the recent supplemental for the Iraq war funding?'" --- John Walsh

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On an entirely different note, the debate on the forum remark continued today. During assembly, the same kid who asked the forum question went up and attempted to defend/clarify his position. He rambled on about lots of different things, so I don't really know if he had a main point. He seemed to object to people who blindly believe things about religion, politics, etc. because other people say so without question themselves. For instance, he asked why people in the USA want to overthrow Chavez and Castro when they are helping the poor. What I finding amusing is that, since he's just a teen, I shouldn't really believe anything he's saying, according to his logic. Secondly, by praising Chavez and Castro, he's still being brainwashed; this time it's just by liberals, not by Bush. He also pulled the whole "you shouldn't complain because you have so much to be thankful for"  phrase to put everyone at the school to shame.

At the beginning of AP Bio, Tony, Izzi, Emily H., Hywote , Veronica, and I discussed this darn debate. I frankly think that it was very rude of him to ask the question at the forum and that it was a waste of other people's time to bring it up at assembly. Maybe he should have posted something about it on "Items of Interest." Whatever.

Tribute of the Day: Scott Ritter, just because he may very well prevent World War III. Who knows?

- I got into Berkeley (a semester late) and Whitman (a semester late). Huh.

- I went to a Seder at Izzi's house last Monday with Avril, Evan C., and Erik. It was actually fun/interesting. I have to do a report for World Religions on a religious ceremony, so I took notes during the seder for it. We then had dinner and spent the rest of the time gossiping. hehe.

- I took a film noir class for interterm. We saw:
1) The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: A silent German film. It was ok.
2) The Maltese Falcon: too confusing to be interesting.
3) Double Indemnity: Really good.
4) Sunset Boulevard: Also really good.
5) Woman in the Window: probably my favorite because we saw it in the Palo Alto theater.
6) Brick: a neo-noir film. Recent. Complicated.
7) Touch of evil: not a very good movie.
8) LA Confidential: pretty good, but too complicated.

- My Birthday was thursaday. I got a lot of cake, because both Michelle H. and my family got one. They were both really good.

-Ver and I then went to the Uc Berkeley library before seeing "Volver." It was a good movie. Penelope Cruz's lip-synching was embarrasingly bad, however. It had surprises in it, which was good.

-Today I went to visit Uc Davis with my dad. I doubt I'll end up going there, but I was fairly impressed. Number one school in the nation for vet-medicine --- haha.

- tomorrow I'm leaving for Smith and Bryn Mawr. It's supposed to be like freezing in New England. Grrr. Oh well. It'll be...realistic.

interterm is next week. I'm doing a film noir-related class. My birthday is on thursday, but I don't really have anything planned. After that is Spring Break, in which I'm doing a college visit trip. I'm actually excited about that. Saturday after interterm I'm going to UC Davis' admitted students day, just to see what UC life is like. The next day we're flying into Phily to see Bryn Mawr, then going to New Haven (mom has a meeting at Yale), then going to Northamtpon to overnight at Smith. We also hope to visit New York and possible see my aunt and co. there.

I got into Reed the other day. I found out by email. I got rejected from Pomona. Duh. That leaves Whitman (no idea if I'll get in) and Berkeley (probably won't get in).

People found out about Cal/ucla admissions yesterday. It seems totally random who got in. I don't know if I did. I don't really care enough because I doubt I'll go anyway.

The other day we went out to SF for dinner with my mom's Israeli friend.

That brings me to a political topic: I officially OPPOSE the two state solution to Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I'm attempting to write an article about it, but I'm being lazy.

Tribute of the day: nasal spray, even though I'm addicted to it.

Ok, so the good news is I finally got my Smith acceptance packet mailed. It's juicy, it's shiney, it's special. The bad news is that I was rejected from Haverford. Not waitlisted, as I suspected, but rejected. Half of me is really bummed about this, because it was my 1st choice coed school. It's also the first rejection letter I've gotten in my life (I've only been put on waitlists before). The other half of me is relieved that I don't have yet another choice to drive me crazy about (the Smith vs. Bryn Mawr thing is burning me out already). This also means that I won't do an overnight, giving me more time to hang out in New York. So, really, I guess it's not such a bad thing.

LAC-wise, this leaves Reed and Whitman, both of which I think I have a strong shot at, and Pomona. Pomona seems pretty much hopeless at this point. It's one of the most, if not the most, selective liberal arts college in the country. If I didn't get accepted to Carleton or Haverford (which I interviewed for), I doubt I'll get into Pomona (which I didn't interview for). It's ok, because if I really wanted to attend a Claremont, I'd be fine at Scripps.

There's also UC Berkeley, which I almost certainly will NOT attend, even if I do get in. Good luck, Mr. Kelp, and all those who genuinely care about getting into UCB.

On another note, we saw Hyenas today for Bio class. They're kept near the Lawrence Hall of Science, which is close to my house. Perhaps if one of them escaped, it would find its way to my backyard. Creepy!

Tribute of the day: colleges, because they're actually sorta awesome to research and talk about.

I'm in a mixed mood right now. For some strange reason, I couldn't sleep last night (and when I finally did get to sleep I had this weird dream about my backyard being accross between a WWI battle scene and Egypt). I felt a little sick-ish as a result of the little sleep/caffine combo, so I couldn't finish my lunch. Yet, I'm happy because I don't have a whole lot to do this week and interterm/spring break are after that! I'm also so excited about colleges.

I got into Scripps today, which is good. I sent in a part of my application late (my graded writing sample), so I'm glad they forgave me. I got waitlisted at Carleton, my first non-acceptance. I figured it wasn't good due to the thin envelope. Oh well. I'm still happy with my options. Based on that, I'm predicting a waitlist from Haverford and a rejection from Pomona. Haverford is about the same selectivity wise. Pomona is a bit more selective, plus I didn't interview there (I'm an idiot and waited too long to request one, and then I was even more of an idiot and didn't bother to go on the interview "wait list" to even show interest). I wish everone else luck with their college acceptances!!

I changed my icon. On that note, I've decided that I generally hate female child actresses. They're all cute and smily and friendly and all, like Shirley Temple or Liz Taylor when she was little. They're also REALLY annoying and shallow. Now that I think of it, it's mostly a probably with the roles than with the actresses. I think there were two all time great female child roles: Christian Ricci as Wednesday Addams in "The Addams Family Values," and Ivana Baquero as Ofelia in "Pan's Labyrinth." They actually managed to show some realy character without putting on some bratty little smile or doing a tapdance. Hence the icon.

Weird factoid: both me and Mr. Kelp were recently reading about Palestinian airplane hijacker Leila Khalid. Creepy. Chickens and kelp have a lot in common, no?